..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
