id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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