I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize