Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
