Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize