I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
too bad you live with your parents still
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
