Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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