I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
