She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
