Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize