so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize