I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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