we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
