I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
