what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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