Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
