I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
