Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize