he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
did i walk over a car last night?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize