her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
