when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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