so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Are we in a gay sports bar?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
