just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
