You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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