im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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