It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize