He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
If that was your dad, he is hot
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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