32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
