So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
