she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
