She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
