I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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