Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I cockslap morals
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
there is glitter all over my balls
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize