pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I can't trust your balls anymore.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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