Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
