I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
