I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
where are you?
Hypothermia
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
