i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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