I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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