fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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