Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
