he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize