Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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