2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
