To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
