Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
