what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Randomize
