I cockslap morals
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
