I'm gonna have a badass scar
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize