operation harelip BJ is a go
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
