Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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