Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
