just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
