If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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