I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
