Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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