I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
