Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
My balls are so social today.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
