So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
