it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
