Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize