The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
