i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
