rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
